Do You Suffer From "Nice Guy" Syndrome?
By: Thundercat
I have a question for you...
Have you ever heard that old addage "Nice Guys Finish Last?"
Well, I'm here to tell you that saying is 100% true! But not for the reasons you may think.
Being a "Nice Guy" with women doesn't work, not because you get too caught up in what a girl wants and get stuck as a friend, but because Nice Guys are typically very, very...
SELFISH!
That's right. When you're a "Nice Guy," you're not really being nice, you're being EMOTIONALLY GREEDY.
Let me explain...
One of the biggest problems guys who are struggling with women face is something I like to call "the Nice Guy factor."
So many guys have such a weak identity and so little self-esteem, that they base their own self-worth on what other people THINK OF THEM.
These guys are at the mercy of everyone else in their lives, so they try their best to please the people around them, hoping they'll continue to think highly of them, so they can feel good about themselves. That's not so bad, right? It feels good when others approve of you, doesn't it?
Most people look at this behavior and would instantly categorize these poor men in the "Nice Guys" column. After all, they're the ones who don't like conflict. They're the ones who don't want to make waves. They're the ones who want everyone to be happy.
They are also some of the most selfish people on the planet.
Seriously. I know this because I used to be one of these people, and I know all their dirty little secrets! And the point of this newsletter is to make everyone who thinks of themselves as "nice" or as a "victim" really, really pissed off!!!
All of you "Nice Guys" out there reading this are nothing more than "people pleasers." Somewhere in your life, you found out that pleasing people is a way to get other people to like you and admire you so you can feel good about yourself. Whether it was the acclaim of your parents, or the acceptance of your friends, somewhere in your time on this planet YOU LEARNED to feel good based on what other people think of you.
But I'm here to tell you that using other people's feelings and goodwill like that is not only harmful, but dishonest!
Anyone who says "I can't stand conflict!" or "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!" should do us all a favor and move to the planet "Ideal" where life is wonderful, we all have transparent heads, and there is no war. Only on this planet will you be able to find that everyone is willing to give you the moral support you need.
But that's the crux of the issue right there. All you "Nice Guys" have a losing mentality about your need for support. Your methodology is: "I am so loving and giving and nice, I expect you to treat me the exact same way as I treat you!"
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